Everyone seems to be seeking ‘Love,’ based on the assumption that the source of Love is from outside. We are looking for someone who adores, appreciates, and accepts us; someone who is dependable, trustworthy, and kind; someone with a list of desirable qualities to offer.
When we find someone with ‘the list,’ the question becomes how can we keep that person in our lives? So, to make a fair exchange, we match up our own offers. After a few deals, we sort of know what the other party is looking for.
It doesn’t matter what we have to do, as long as the person stays in our lives. “Stay here, and don’t go away. What can I do to keep you here? Which part of myself should I take away so you will stay? No problem! I’ll remove it. The most important thing is you stay in my life.”
So, we think we know what keeps the deal going. And we are willing to do what it takes. We think this will fill the void. However, the room still ends up empty; people still come and go. We continue these relational transactions off and on. Till we say, “What is it that you really want?”
We regard love as an exchange. This is what we really write on our Valentine’s card: “We are in an exchange. I like our deals. I hope we can keep this up forever.”
At the same time, we set ourselves up for a trap. When they are not keeping up with their list of requirements, we know we are in an exchange.
Love Is A Reflection Of Who You Are
However, true love is not about what you can get. It’s about what you can give. And through the process of giving without expectation of return, you experience love in your true self. You can know love in theory, but it is through “loving your enemies,” you experience true love.
We love because it reflects who we are, the Godliness created in us. Love will never expect returns. That would be an exchange. This is the true reason we do anything. The sole purpose we think, speak and behave is ultimately to declare and experience who we are. In fact, it’s the only reason anyone does anything. The way people love reflects their self-image. Our love reflects who we think we are.
However, the person we are least likely to appreciate, to accept and to love is ourselves. If we can’t truly love ourselves, we can’t truly love others. Unless we can accept ourselves, we can’t accept others. Unless we can trust ourselves, we can’t trust others. Unless we can understand ourselves, we can’t understand others. Whatever we are not willing to give ourselves, we can’t give it to others either.
This is the reason we can’t understand God’s love being unconditional. We think love is about an exchange. So God’s love must be about exchange. Here is the deal we assume God offers, “I give you this, and you give me that. And if I am not getting it, the deal is off. And you are out of my life.”
We can’t image our love or God’s love being unconditional. However, unconditional love is the only love that is. The rest are false, fake, and counterfeit...
The good news is that God is greater than you imagine. He is Love. He is not about what He can get, but what He can give.
And, through the process of this exchange and coming up empty we realize true love is not about what you can get, but what you can give. And, through the process of giving without expectation of return, He gets to experience love in His true self. He can know love in theory. But, it is through “loving His enemies,” He experiences love.
He loves because it reflects who He is, the ultimate Godliness. Love will never expect return. That’s the only reason He does anything. The way He loves reflects His self-image, which is Love.
Some other good news is: you are made in His image and likeness; you were never created any less. This perfect Love is in you already. We simply have to restore it.
There are three steps of restoration to Love. First, you must apply the perspective of true Love to your life, as who you are. Second, you’ll naturally be drawn to Love Himself intimately, till you are in Union with Love. Finally, as you are restored to Love, you’ll reflect and experience Love in you through every life you touch.
Three Step of Restoration
1. Be Love
2. Union with Love
3. Manifest Love
Video: Love or Exchange? Love is a Reflection of Our Self-Image
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